#4 On Fire by John O'Leary

My other sister gave me this book. I wasn't very excited about it, but two things got me reading it. First, I promised myself I'd try to read any book someone gives me, and two, Lau said it was SO SO SO good and it made her cry. She said it was so inspiring.

I said, "I don't really need that type of book right now. I don't really need to be inspired."

She said something like, "It's really short, just read it. It reads quick."

She was right. I read it in a day.

I was wrong. I did need this book.

It's an autobiography type book. John burned almost 100% of his body when he was 9, the doctors did not think he would make it, and yet now he lives a happy life with his wife and kids. Oops I ruined it for you.

I think the most important part of it, that I did need, is to know that little things matter. That little acts of love matter in the world.

It's so hard sometimes just sitting on the floor watching Mateo play for the 50th minute in a row, with the same blocks he's played with for the past three months. It's hard to want to pick him up and change his poopy diaper and distract him so I don't have to wrestle him. And it's so easy to say, "gosh I wish I was in a classroom with my old students." or "This day is so, so long."

But what John invites me to do is not feel sorry for myself at any moment.  To do everything I do because of love. That's not easy, but it really is worth it.

So today when I was trying to stuff a piece of spaghetti in Mateo's mouth and he kept spitting it out with his adorable tongue, pointing to the sweet mandarine he obviously preferred... I let myself laugh and enjoy it. I told him he had to eat this piece of spaghetti, Mister, and I tricked him into thinking he was gonna get the fruit, then rammed in the piece of spaghetti and followed it with the fruit. He didn't push the pasta out with his cute little tongue. Victory! I smiled at him and laughed, and he smiled back with his trillion dollar smile. A smile that you think will make his face explode because of how much power is in it.

I could have (which I have done in the past numerous times) rolled my eyes and just kept feeding him. Or checking my phone to see what other people are doing right now. Or told Mateo to please eat it. But I can choose to make it a fun experience for both of us, to try to find love and joy in the most menial tasks, like shoving a piece of pasta down an 11-month-old's throat.

Highly recommend.

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