Substituting chronicles. Morning 1- it sucks

 I don’t want to open a new blog account so I’ll adopt this one into my substituting chronicles. 

It’s 8:23 and so far substituting SUCKS. The secretary was 20 minutes late so I just waited in the lobby. Alone. Surrounded by random teachers and students, all looking like they’re having the worst morning of their life. 

It’s a high school. Very different vibe from elementary schools. 

When I logged in and asked for directions to the classroom the secretary told me to just go to the STEAM room. The STEAM teacher told me to wait in the hallway for a job, they overasked for subs.

I get it schools fall apart without subs. It’s smart of them to be extra prepared. But. It sucks to BE the leftover sub not having a job.

My main feeling is disappointment to be honest. I was excited to be in a classroom. Getting know the students and learning something with them. 

Really anything but blogging on a hard metal chair in a hallway waiting to be told what to do for over an hour. 

#21 A Long, Long Time Ago and Essentially True by Brigid Pasulka

This was suggested through goodreads- which I just joined. I really like this website! Essentially it's  a facebook for books read. I had no idea!

Although I really liked this book, I was a bit disappointed in the title. I thought it would be more like Everything is Illuminated in that it plays with fictional storytelling a lot more... I found this book to stick to storytelling of facts (as much as a fictional novel can).

It focuses on two generations at the same time, interchanging between the chapters. And it ties in their worries and problems but in these different time frames.
Pasulka is so great at expressing teenage (well the character is 22 but really acts like a teenager) angst and worry, a feeling of loneliness and not fitting in, but at the same time resigning to it...

Wow I feel very not ... eloquent- this lack of sleep is getting to me.

What I enjoyed about it most is that I learned about Poland's history. I know so little about Poland. I almost went to Poland back in 2011 but it didn't work out and I've always regretted that. So learning about it through a fictional novel was really delightful.

I recommend this book a lot.

Pages:354
total: 6167(?)

#20 The History of Love by Nicole Krauss

This is my FAVORITE book I've read this year. Easily top 5 of all my life. If you'll take any of my recommendations, dear blog reader (aka probably just Marimar by this point), please read this book.

It is a strange concoction. It goes into the mind of an old, old, dying Polish man, and a curious and sad Jewish-American teenager, and throughout the book you read the book called The History of Love. 

I picked this book because I was looking for beautiful quotes about love and I found, "once upon a time there was a boy who loved a girl, and her laughter was a question he wanted to spend his whole life answering." It took my heart, rattled it, and called me. Immediately I looked for the book on Amazon. I just thought, whoever understands love like this, I have to read the rest of their views.

I loved finding out that Krauss later said she thinks she has a responsibility to write so that we can capture the world.... or something like that. That's how I feel most days. I see beautiful things around me and I want to capture them. I want to write about them - share them, make sure they are not lost. Maybe not everyone feels like this. Maybe some artists do? Is it our fight against immortality?

The whole book is riddled with beautiful quotes. I want to read it again, highlight them, and maybe even write them down myself.

This book reminded me of Everything is Illuminated by Jonathan Safran Foer- I read it for my Senior "thesis." Perhaps it's because both books have Jewish ancestry- I wonder if this style resembles more Jewish books written in their own language? I wonder if their way of seeing the world- because of their past- allows them to write so beautifully... or if it's just these two authors so far that have the insane capability to capture surrealism in an understanding of the world.

Pages: 272
total: 5813

#19 The Last Anniversary by Lianne Moriarty

I remembered enjoying Lianne Moriarty's book last year, What Alice Remembered so in an effort to regain reading stamina I looked for more of her books in the library. 

I LOVED this book. She has such a unique talent of understanding 8+ characters at a time, of making you really get to know each and every one of them, of loving them all.

What I liked best was her description of PPD- Postpartum depression. She doesn't give it a name for a few chapters, but you can definitely tell that the character is going through it. It's so subtle at first, but so blatant at the same time. She goes into the husband's mind, feeling useless and so confused... into the wife's mind- feeling so utterly worthless and truly a burden. It's really magnificent how she weaves those into the actual plot.

It's also quite a shocking story at points, without being abrasive. It's funny without being a comedy. It's a tragedy without being depressing. It's a mystery without being confusing. It's Romantic without being a Romance... This is the kind of story I'd like to write someday.

My only annoyance with this book is that although I found Moriarty last year, she's popular now because of the HBO show made from her book, Big Little Lies and so now all her books are expensive and "in" and you  know how much I don't like doing things "in fashion." haha!

Pages:400
Tota: 5541 (?)

#18 A Window Opens by Elisabeth Egan

I enjoyed this book a lot a lot.

I remember being a kid and only wanting to read books that had kids in them (the chocolate touch, Frindle, a weird book series I can't remember what it was called but all the cool people had violet eyes..)Then when I was a teenager I wanted to desperately find novels about teenagers.

Now I guess I enjoy books about moms who want to do more than be at home. It shouldn't but it kind of makes me a little sad and it makes me feel old. I don't know why... I know I have the Peter Pan syndrome, and an irrational fear of death by 35, so perhaps that's why?
In any case, I loved this book about a mom of three who goes back to work and just does not enjoy it as much as she thought she would.

It's definitely not a Pulitzer by any means- but it's smooth writing- and you really get into her head. I see a theme in what I enjoy about reading, I like getting to know people.

One of my most constantly repeating sins is gossip and talking about others, eavesdropping... just pure curiosity of things that are not really my business. Last night I was wondering if that's why I like to read so much- because I just like collecting stories, collecting thoughts and questions and characteristics.  Sometimes I think all my life will be about collecting the keys to a masterpiece I'll write towards the end of my life...

I recommend this book, it's also pretty funny.

Pages: 369
Total: 5141

#17 How to Rock Braces and Glasses by Meg Haston

The title tells you everything you need to know about this book...
Yes, it is a middle school book. Yes, it talks about preteen crushes, braces, and tough girl frenemy decisions.

Do I recommend it? no, not at all.

But it gave me something to read at work. Some mindless reading that brought me back to days of reading The Clique series (loved it!). It reminded me of when it was my dream to write a book like this. I don't think I could anymore- perhaps if I ever have a teenage daughter...

Sometimes little preteen stories are good for the soul.



Pages: 324
Total: 4772 (?)

#16 The Brief Wondrous Life of Oscar Wao by Junot Diaz

To be honest I can't even remember if I fully finished this book or not. It made me sad in a personal way, not necessarily because it was a sad story (it is.) But because it reminded me of someone I used to know and be very close to. I don't talk to this person anymore- but I cared about them for so long, and I left them behind in that sad world that Oscar lives in. Sadness, family regret, generational resentment, misogyny, drugs...

It makes me wonder what else I could have done, or if I should have tried to stay...?

Also, I borrowed it from Maggie who told me that Junot Diaz was being accused of sexual harassment. It gave me a weird feeling. I never even looked into it, so who knows if he was falsely accused or if that should affect how I read him? It was hard to read his highly sexual descriptions of women thinking that perhaps those accusations are real in any case...

When I heard the title I thought it was going to be a story about an Asian Boy Genius and his adventures. This is not the case.

It is very well written. It pulls you in for sure. But it may be too intense for a pregnant woman like me, so maybe that's why I maybe never finished it. My thoughts are so muddled with this book- Perhaps I'll try to go back and see if I did finish it or not. For now, I'll let it be an emotion of the past for me.

Pages: ??
Total: 4448 (?)