#18 A Window Opens by Elisabeth Egan

I enjoyed this book a lot a lot.

I remember being a kid and only wanting to read books that had kids in them (the chocolate touch, Frindle, a weird book series I can't remember what it was called but all the cool people had violet eyes..)Then when I was a teenager I wanted to desperately find novels about teenagers.

Now I guess I enjoy books about moms who want to do more than be at home. It shouldn't but it kind of makes me a little sad and it makes me feel old. I don't know why... I know I have the Peter Pan syndrome, and an irrational fear of death by 35, so perhaps that's why?
In any case, I loved this book about a mom of three who goes back to work and just does not enjoy it as much as she thought she would.

It's definitely not a Pulitzer by any means- but it's smooth writing- and you really get into her head. I see a theme in what I enjoy about reading, I like getting to know people.

One of my most constantly repeating sins is gossip and talking about others, eavesdropping... just pure curiosity of things that are not really my business. Last night I was wondering if that's why I like to read so much- because I just like collecting stories, collecting thoughts and questions and characteristics.  Sometimes I think all my life will be about collecting the keys to a masterpiece I'll write towards the end of my life...

I recommend this book, it's also pretty funny.

Pages: 369
Total: 5141

#17 How to Rock Braces and Glasses by Meg Haston

The title tells you everything you need to know about this book...
Yes, it is a middle school book. Yes, it talks about preteen crushes, braces, and tough girl frenemy decisions.

Do I recommend it? no, not at all.

But it gave me something to read at work. Some mindless reading that brought me back to days of reading The Clique series (loved it!). It reminded me of when it was my dream to write a book like this. I don't think I could anymore- perhaps if I ever have a teenage daughter...

Sometimes little preteen stories are good for the soul.



Pages: 324
Total: 4772 (?)

#16 The Brief Wondrous Life of Oscar Wao by Junot Diaz

To be honest I can't even remember if I fully finished this book or not. It made me sad in a personal way, not necessarily because it was a sad story (it is.) But because it reminded me of someone I used to know and be very close to. I don't talk to this person anymore- but I cared about them for so long, and I left them behind in that sad world that Oscar lives in. Sadness, family regret, generational resentment, misogyny, drugs...

It makes me wonder what else I could have done, or if I should have tried to stay...?

Also, I borrowed it from Maggie who told me that Junot Diaz was being accused of sexual harassment. It gave me a weird feeling. I never even looked into it, so who knows if he was falsely accused or if that should affect how I read him? It was hard to read his highly sexual descriptions of women thinking that perhaps those accusations are real in any case...

When I heard the title I thought it was going to be a story about an Asian Boy Genius and his adventures. This is not the case.

It is very well written. It pulls you in for sure. But it may be too intense for a pregnant woman like me, so maybe that's why I maybe never finished it. My thoughts are so muddled with this book- Perhaps I'll try to go back and see if I did finish it or not. For now, I'll let it be an emotion of the past for me.

Pages: ??
Total: 4448 (?)

#15 Station Eleven by Emily St. John Mandel

I took a break from writing on my blog- not because I wanted to but because it was either read, sleep, or write for the first 20 weeks of this pregnancy. I chose to sleep mostly- and read sometimes. I've read quite a few books since I last wrote- but unfortunately they're not fresh in my mind, so I'll do the best I can to recap them.

Marimar sent me this book (yay!) and so I was a bit weary for it. Last book she sent me sent ME into a crazy quick depression-like state of fear for humanity for a little bit. This book was slightly lighter thankfully.
The premise isn't much happier- a plague hit the world a few years ago and there are only a few survivors.

Wow my memory is bad- I am having a hard time remembering my thoughts on this book!
I remember liking the weaving of stories, and wondering when they would meet- it was an interesting plot.

But this book didn't keep me GLUED. I felt like it lacked a bit of character understanding- a deep dive into them. There were just so many characters perhaps? Or maybe I'm just mixing it with another book. I really should write RIGHT after I finish to avoid this confusion.

Unfortunately now I feel like I'm writing to just to prove that I read and wrote- I don't like this feeling.

Wow has a blog post ever been so rambly.

Pages: 333
Total: 4448

#14 Elegies for the Brokenhearted by Christine Hodgen

I enjoyed this book a lot. I love sad stories and this book is literally sad stories. The main character "talks" to 5 people in her life who have died. She tells their stories in 2nd person: very unique, very cool to read. It made me think of what other angles and styles I can use in my own writing.

What I liked best was Hodgen's ability to understand a person for all they are. She definitely focuses on each character's worst characteristics, but she gives backgrounds to them. She explains their bad choices, their cruel personalities, their rude words... but she lets you see why they are who they became. She has this amazing and enviable way of giving each character their own style of talking, their own lexicon... I was in awe reading it most of the time.

The story in itself isn't awe-inspiring, but the characters really are.  If you are in the mood to really get to know some sad characters, read this for sure.

I also really liked her treatment of hope, of lost hope in poverty and forgottenness, of new hope (that dies) in the main character. It's hard to imagine utter poverty (money and soul) in the US for me at times, but this book is kind of like a little magnifying glass focused on a tiny part of the US.

I'd love to meet Mary Murphy (the main character) and see what she sees in me, how much she could pull out of me.

Reading while traveling to meet people doesn't allow me to read as much or as fast as I'd like, but now that we're back home I'm getting back into it. :)

Pages: 288
Total: 4115

#13 The Sparrow by Mary Doria Russell

Marimar sent me this book. She had told me, "I'll send you a book when you write your next post." So I read a few books and then asked for my prize.
I would probably never have read this book if it wasn't for her. In any case, my reading of the book (if I am wrong with that statement) would have differed if I had found it on my own.
There's a cool thing about reading a book you know someone else read, at least for me. I keep that person in mind. I wonder if they smirked at the same simile, if they cried at the same line, I wonder if they felt the same frustrating anxiety... and it is beautiful in its uniqueness but also quite annoying.

It's like when you have a really good story you need to tell your best friend. And you imagine what she'll say. But you can't call her just now. Because you have to keep reading.
Anyway, that is how I can best encapsulate how I felt throughout the book about that. Now on to the book


I was excited to read this book. I've never read a non-specifically-religious book about a Catholic priest. Especially not one that is not outwardly pro or against Catholicism.  And I really enjoyed the beginning. I (just like Russell so obviously intended) quickly fell in love with the characters. She has an unrealistic skill of capturing humans in their entirety. Raw, honest, multifaceted, endearing in their flaws.
The main character, Emilio, really hit home. I pictured him as a Sodalite from back in my adolescence, effervescent, joyous, playful. Additionally, he's a linguist. He's intrigued with language and has a knack for it. Mary D Russell also has an enviable knowledge of language (and astronomy and space stuff but that kind of bored me). She creates her own languages with simple rules that follow linguistic laws! For a long time (The first 200 pages are very introductory) I thought maybe Marimar sent it to me because I share this interest in language.
But the book turns a very dark corner. It digs deep into questions of faith, logic, morality, friendship, love... it digs too deep in the last 100 pages. 
It made me anxious. It made me angry, worried, upset. It shook me so much that just now when I told Joe I was going to write the post on it he looked worried, "is it going to make you sad again?"

Fortunately, it is not. Thinking back on it is easier than reading the last chapter of that book. I don't want to completely give it away just in case someone else wants to read it. Read at your own risk below?

Spoilers below:
I felt cheated. This book is too powerful in that way. Russell turned me into Emilio. I felt his anger, his sense of utter betrayal.
 The whole book leads you to believe Emilio will find beauty and love because he knows he is following God's beauty and love. But he is not. He is, quite crudely, sodomized, and turned into an angry murderer. He loses all his friends, all his work... all the Earthly beauty he walked towards.
It tests your faith, to say, no I do believe in God. Knowing full well that this could happen (maybe not in a different planet) and that still God asks for your love, faith, commitment.
In a way, she offers you a different kind of beauty at the end. Emilio is not the same crippled, black-shadowed, man you meet at first in the very last pages. I am so thankful for that.

It was interesting too, I read her q+a at the end of the book. She wrote this as she was converting to Judaism. A religion that kept all faith after the Holocaust. Knowing that last bit kind of helped me sleep at night. It is so much grander than me. Just as God and my faith should be.

Reading this book clashed with two other events in my life. One was staring into the eyes of a San Miguel Kid at 10pm. It crushed me like a Jana'ata. This poor child in his mothers arm, next to another younger baby, hungry, tired, worried.
Joe and I were walking around the streets, love-drunk on a very nice date in the restaurant we had our rehearsal dinner 2 years ago. We'd just splurged more than usual, enjoyed a very delicious meal with two drinks... I bought myself a cute pair of earrings, and I was thanking God for all that I have. And just then we see these families with young children, ripped clothes, begging for pesos.

How do you consolidate that? How do you believe in a God that gives me a Pina Colada and a sweet little buzz, and gives a child nothing but the need to beg?

-
I was also watching The Good Place (also at Marimar's recommendation I think?).  It plays with Good and Evil, "heaven and hell."

Oh Mateo's bathtime, must go, and stop thinking about all this.

Would I recommend this book? I don't know quite yet.
Did I like it? No
Did I enjoy it? In a twisted way
Am I glad I read it? yes.

I have to admit too that I felt like it was such a work of magnificent authorship that this part also angered me. I have entered a stage where I become more and more upset that I have not written my own masterpiece every time I read something amazing.

Page count: 408
Total: 3827

#12 How to Turn Down a Billion Dollars by Billy Gallagher

I decided I wanted to read about something I have never read about. I also wanted to read something that librarians thought was important to put on top of the shelf. I found this book about Snapchat fairly quickly.

I really haven't read many stories about companies and so I was highly interested. Also I love social media. Using it, talking about it, thinking about why it's so huge and its effects on society. SO a perfect match!

A really cool thing about this book is that I could place myself in the story somewhat. Marimar went to school with the protagonist of the book, in the same class! She didn't have great things to say about him but that made it even cooler. As the author wrote about his notorious popularity in Stanford Marimar said he really didn't have the best reputation for being nice (paraphrased). She was basically IN THE BOOK!

I enjoyed reading this book quite a bit. I don't think I'd tell anyone 'man you gotta read this!' because I don't know that many people as fascinated with the story of social medias as I am, nor is it SUPER INTERESTING, cannot put it down kind of book. But it was also just cool to get out of my realm of literature for a bit and explore a journalist's capture of the company.

Pages: 252
Total: 3419

Oh also, ironically perhaps, the title of the book is total clickbait. It does not explain 'HOW' to turn it down. It just tells you that the founder, Evan, turned it down because he never wants to work for anyone, much less Zuckerberg, and wants total complete brainpower over his company.